There’s A Monster In My Potty (rough draft)

There’s a monster in my potty
He comes out late at night
Serrated teeth, hair long and knotty  
It’s quite a scary sight

He likes to eat up children
 but he’ll take what he can get
Blood and meat and fat and bone
He’ll catch you while you sit

Some say he started as a pet that someone flushed away
Thought he’d kicked the bucket cause his eyes were dead and gray
But he was playing opossum, just waiting for the chance
To grow and thrive and hunt and feed
The things that freedom grants

But who knows just what there is down there and just what it can do
From radioactive isotopes to ordinary poo
All I know is that this monster loves the taste of flesh
Bloody, ripe, and tinged with fear so tender and so fresh

Once I tried to shoot him, but the slugs had no effect
His skin is like armor and his scales deflect
I ran away just as he pounced and dead bolt locked the door
Since then I sponge bathe at a local convenience store

An exorcist from every faith, some missing to this day,
Came to cleanse my potty with their power to pray
But their prayers turned to screams, and they left behind just gore
And fingernail furrows scratched into the bathroom door

So I had to sate him, I couldn’t live in fear
Especially with all the bums and unwanted children near
Some were lured with candy, some simply had to go
What the monster did to them, I’d just as soon not know

A few cops came later too, now they tend to stay away
Once they see that monster with his eyes so dead and gray
There’s a monster in my potty, but now he is my friend
After all the living food that I nightly send

***
    It feels like it’s been a long time since I have given my Newgrounds account a looksy. To those two or three people sick enough in the mind to find my scribblings and noises entertaining, I hope you continue to enjoy. Please feel free to litter my comment section with your syphilitic dementia and schizophrenic ravings. It’s getting hot outside these days which tells me that the earth is apparently still spinning…unfortunately. People who get pissed off when I used ellipsis incorrectly can suck all three of my nuts. They should chance the rules so that it (…) can also mean a dramatic pause instead of just a left out word. Shut up. You know what I’m talking about. So anyway, the neighbors have a demonic dog named Sam that talks me to through my dreams. I told him to fuck off. I can think bad thoughts perfectly well on my own, thank you. Fuckity doo daa. All the live long day. Dotdotdot. I have to return some video tapes to Blockbuster. I wish Blockbuster still existed. I’m gonna go cry into a can of hobo beer now.      

Still no music making software. I’m too poor to buy any and too stupid to pirate any. All the freeware is lame.